Friday, October 23, 2009

Questioning God's Plan

To say this week has been a challenge, would be an understatement. Last weekend, Corey, Riley and I took off to Manteo to spend a quiet weekend fishing with my Mom and stepdad, Dennis. But, on Saturday evening, our weekend took a turn for the worst. We received a phone call to notify us that my 17-year old cousin, Ryan, had been killed while riding his 4-wheeler. Just like that - he was gone.

I was fortunate to have gotten to know Ryan better than most. For a year and a half after graduating from college, I babysat Ryan and his younger brother, Russell, while I worked on my Master's at ECU. At the time, Ryan was 11 and Russell, 6 - and let me tell you they were a handful. But, I am now especially thankful for that time. So, as you can imagine, when I got the news Saturday night, my heart just broke. But, more than my own feelings, my mind immediately went to his mother, my aunt Deb. Now that I have a child of my own, it is unimaginable what she must be experiencing - I mean how do you even wrap your head around something like this. And, how do you explain why God would take someone so young, with so much life ahead of him, from this world?

As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have come to see time and time again how perfect the Lord's will is, but at times like this it is a challenge not to question him. On Wednesday this week, I attended Ryan's funeral service. While difficult, it was filled with stories of Ryan's sweet spirit, his lovable nature, his commitment to Christ, and his love for all things outdoors.

It was at his funeral that I also heard a great analogy for questioning God's plan. For a minute, imagine that you live in a 3rd world country. You have never been exposed to modern medicine and you walk into an operating room to see a patient having a heart transplant. From your perspective, it seems as if the doctors are harming the patient - cutting him open, prodding internally, removing his heart. However, what you don't realize (because of your limited knowledge) is that they are actually saving his life and doing what is best for the patient.

In this same way, our limited knowlege, causes us to question God without realizing that he is doing what is best. My flesh tells me that Ryan should remain here with us, but my heart knows that God sees all things, he is our Alpha and our Omega, and he knows that Saturday evening at 6:45 was Ryan's time to go. Ryan was able to leave this world with no regrets, and had the advantage of never really having to experience all of the pain and suffering of this world. He can now dance with Jesus for all eternity and we have the promise of knowing that we will meet again someday!

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, specifically my Aunt Deb, Uncle Jesse and cousin Russell. They no doubt have some challenging days, weeks and months ahead!

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