Questioning God's Plan

To say this week has been a challenge, would be an understatement. Last weekend, Corey, Riley and I took off to Manteo to spend a quiet weekend fishing with my Mom and stepdad, Dennis. But, on Saturday evening, our weekend took a turn for the worst. We received a phone call to notify us that my 17-year old cousin, Ryan, had been killed while riding his 4-wheeler. Just like that - he was gone.

I was fortunate to have gotten to know Ryan better than most. For a year and a half after graduating from college, I babysat Ryan and his younger brother, Russell, while I worked on my Master's at ECU. At the time, Ryan was 11 and Russell, 6 - and let me tell you they were a handful. But, I am now especially thankful for that time. So, as you can imagine, when I got the news Saturday night, my heart just broke. But, more than my own feelings, my mind immediately went to his mother, my aunt Deb. Now that I have a child of my own, it is unimaginable what she must be experiencing - I mean how do you even wrap your head around something like this. And, how do you explain why God would take someone so young, with so much life ahead of him, from this world?

As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have come to see time and time again how perfect the Lord's will is, but at times like this it is a challenge not to question him. On Wednesday this week, I attended Ryan's funeral service. While difficult, it was filled with stories of Ryan's sweet spirit, his lovable nature, his commitment to Christ, and his love for all things outdoors.

It was at his funeral that I also heard a great analogy for questioning God's plan. For a minute, imagine that you live in a 3rd world country. You have never been exposed to modern medicine and you walk into an operating room to see a patient having a heart transplant. From your perspective, it seems as if the doctors are harming the patient - cutting him open, prodding internally, removing his heart. However, what you don't realize (because of your limited knowledge) is that they are actually saving his life and doing what is best for the patient.

In this same way, our limited knowlege, causes us to question God without realizing that he is doing what is best. My flesh tells me that Ryan should remain here with us, but my heart knows that God sees all things, he is our Alpha and our Omega, and he knows that Saturday evening at 6:45 was Ryan's time to go. Ryan was able to leave this world with no regrets, and had the advantage of never really having to experience all of the pain and suffering of this world. He can now dance with Jesus for all eternity and we have the promise of knowing that we will meet again someday!

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, specifically my Aunt Deb, Uncle Jesse and cousin Russell. They no doubt have some challenging days, weeks and months ahead!

Following the Crowd

I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, if I ever told my mom I wanted to do something because everyone else was doing it, I always got the same response - "If your friend jumped off of a cliff, would you jump too?" My answer was typically "well it depends." But, she had made her point - it isn't always a good idea to follow the crowd. And, this principle isn't just applicable as a teenager, it seems to matter even more as an adult.

With all the hysteria about the swine flu, or H1N1, whichever you prefer, it really got me thinking about this principle. I find it interesting that the mainstream media isn't even willing to discuss alternatives to the vaccine. They sort of gloss over any possible side effects, even though this vaccine was rushed to market in a few months and has no longitudinal studies to support its safety. Not only that, but they have no studies to show that this vaccine will actually keep you from getting the swine flu. So, they just want me to blindly trust them to vaccinate my 15 month old child and just hope nothing happens? Sorry, but I am not willing to jump off this cliff!

So, as an alternative, Corey and I have chosen to protect her in a more natural way - by doubling her multi-vitamin intake, giving her probiotics daily, making sure she gets plenty of fluids, and maintains a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables. This is what we feel comfortable with for our family, but it may not work for everyone.

This is a decision that each family must make, so I would just encourage you to ask questions, do your own research, look at possible alternatives and then decide for yourself if the seasonal flu vaccine or swine flu vaccine are best for your family. It is our responsibility as parents to protect our children and take whatever steps are necessary to do so, even if it means not following the crowd!

Does Life Ever Slow Down?

Slow weekends don't come around very often in the Brown household, and this weekend proved to be no different. We didn't really have much planned, but it is amazing how quickly two days can fill up.

I don't believe a Saturday could have started any better than yesterday. Corey, Riley and I, along with our friend, Ginny, had breakfast at Yoder's Dutch Pantry. Yoder's is a small Mennonite restaurant/store in between Grifton and Vanceboro that my mom and I discovered a few years back. From Winterville it takes about 30 minutes, but it is well worth the drive. They make the most amazing french toast and cinnamon rolls you have ever tasted! I was so excited that Ginny decided to join us. You see, Ginny and her husband Shane have been in Life Group with Corey and I for the last 3 1/2 years. They have become dear friends of ours. Unfortunately, they are no longer able to attend our Life Group (sniff, sniff) because of other obligations. So, it was a great opportunity to play catch up.

After breakfast, Corey had some daddy/daughter time so that I could go shopping!! So, I headed to the mall and got some great deals for both Riley and myself. Having a little girl is so dangerous - financially I mean. There are just so many adorable outfits, and never enough money to buy them all. Fortunately, I had some Gymbucks from Gymboree, which definitely helped the cause.

Once I returned from my shopping trip, it was time to get ready for the Family Fun Festival for our church. It was at the Boys and Girls Club this year and we had a blast. They had lots of fun activities including a dunking booth, a clown making balloon animals and a huge inflatable slide! Riley loves slides, and this one was right up her alley. We started her off going down with Corey and I, but our little girl proved to be quite the daredevil, eventually going down all by herself!

Needless to say, by the time we returned home, we were all pretty worn out! And, we needed to rest up for a busy Sunday!

Today, we had the Barham family reunion in Raleigh - my dad's mother was a Barham. It began at lunchtime, which didn't allow us time to go to our church and still make it in time, so we headed to Goldsboro and went to church with my Dad. Then we all headed off to Rolesville for great food and fellowship!! As a kid, I used to loathe family reunions - just seemed like an excuse for a lot of people who really didn't know each other to get together and eat. But, now as I have a family of my own, I am really learning to appreciate them. So we spent a few hours playing catch up with everyone and then on the way out of town, we took the opportunity to visit the gravesite of my Granny and Poppee and also the family farm that my Dad and Aunt Julie still own. We made it back to Greenville by 5:00, leaving me enough time to get my fall decor out and relax a little with Riley before her bedtime.

And now, as I wrap this up, it's time to prepare for another busy week. And, it leaves me wondering if life ever slows down.