Can I just begin by saying that I absolutely love worshipping Jesus! I grew up in a Methodist church singing hymns and can sum up my thoughts about church in one word - BORING :) It wasn't until I truly committed my life to Christ at 22 and began attending a spirit filled church, that I realized what true worship could be like!
Don't get me wrong I love hearing the message (Pastor Mike is awesome), but something about worship just stirs my soul! And, it doesn't hurt that we have a truly amazing worship team! And today they sang one of my favorite songs that goes something like this:
"All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."
We have sang this song numerous times, but today it really resonated. For the past few months, Corey has been in a state of uncertainty with regard to his job. He has been working for Pre-paid Legal Services for almost two years now, and has been very successful, but is really unhappy. So, he has been seeking the Lord for the past few months about what to do next. Having not really gotten any direction, he decided to begin a 7 day water fast last Monday, hoping to really press in and hear from the Lord about where to go from here. I joined him by fasting television (a water fast doesn't work too well for a pregnant woman:) Unfortunately, as of this morning, we didn't have any more clarity than we did a week ago, and Corey was feeling a little frustrated when we arrived at church this morning. But, when this worship song began, you could see the weight of his decision lifted off of his shoulders, and it was quite emotional for me. It was so clear to us both that no matter what season we are in our life, that our God is still God, and we should worship him and praise him, regardless. Our Lord is limited by nothing, certainly not time. So, we left church rejuvinated to continue in our prayer for direction and trust that God is God, even in this season of uncertainty, and that he will provide an answer in his timing, not ours.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Taking Inventory
So, this past Thursday was Corey and I's four year anniversary! We started a tradition on our first anniversary of going away for a night or two and staying at a Bed & Breakfast, and we have really enjoyed this! B&B's are so quaint and really have such a different feel than a hotel. This year we stayed at the Fearrington House in Pittsboro! It was spectacular and is so far the best yet! The Fearrington House is a five-star Inn and Restaurant located on 1400 acres of privately owned farm land. They have Belted Galloway Cows and Goats, a handful of specialty shops, which includes a privately owned bookstore with fireplaces! We spent two hours just sitting by the fire with our feet propped up reading books we picked up off of the shelves! It was great!
In addition to visiting B&B's for our anniversary, we also have a tradition of taking an inventory of our marriage. On our drive to wherever we are going, we always share what we think we did well or didn't do well over the last year(s). Now this sounds like the perfect way to begin an argument, but our comments are limited to what we, as a couple, need to work on, not as individuals :) For example, we both agreed that we need to do a better job of praying together. We both make time for individual prayer time, but making time to do it together is something we constantly struggle with. So, this will be at the top of our list of things to work on as we begin another year of marriage. It has really helped us not become complacent and both stay focused on constantly improving our marriage!
In addition to visiting B&B's for our anniversary, we also have a tradition of taking an inventory of our marriage. On our drive to wherever we are going, we always share what we think we did well or didn't do well over the last year(s). Now this sounds like the perfect way to begin an argument, but our comments are limited to what we, as a couple, need to work on, not as individuals :) For example, we both agreed that we need to do a better job of praying together. We both make time for individual prayer time, but making time to do it together is something we constantly struggle with. So, this will be at the top of our list of things to work on as we begin another year of marriage. It has really helped us not become complacent and both stay focused on constantly improving our marriage!
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Beginnings
As we embarq on another new year (hard to believe) it has really gotten me thinking about new beginnings. I always love ringing in the new year because it always feels like a time of putting the past behind and starting fresh. And, I can't help but be reminded of when I first came to know Christ! It feels like it was yesterday, when in reality it has been nearly 6 years! Being born again is the ultimate feeling of washing away the old and starting anew. It is such an exciting time - I often compare it to the beginning of a dating relationship! Everything is new, you can't wait until you can spend time together again, you want everything you do to please him, etc. But, just as in a dating relationship or marriage, that newness will eventually wear off and you actually have to begin working at it. I have found the same to be true in my relationship with Christ. It is so easy to become complacent and take my relationship with Christ for granted, and think, "Well, if I miss my quiet time today, it will be okay" or "I'll pray later, when I have more time" - sound familiar? And then, I wonder why I don't feel as close to him. If only I were playing my part!!
So, this week as the new year kicks off, I have a renewed desire to retun to my first love. To return to that same passion and excitement that I had when I first came to know him and to "earnestly seek him" with all of my heart!
So, this week as the new year kicks off, I have a renewed desire to retun to my first love. To return to that same passion and excitement that I had when I first came to know him and to "earnestly seek him" with all of my heart!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Miracle of Life
It's official - Riley is going to be a big sister!! Corey and I had decided when we got married that we wanted our children two years apart. But, I have always heard that if you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plan for your life. So, we weren't exactly sure if God's plan would be the same as ours. But, thankfully, he heard the desires of our heart and is blessing us with the miracle of another child!!
I went to the doctor on Tuesday, and it was confirmed. Our next little miracle is due on July 4th - an Independence Day baby!! And, to make this even better, Corey's brother, Clay and his wife Kellie found out they are also pregnant and are due on July 2nd!! I don't think we could have timed this any better if we tried! So, the Brown family will be expanding once more.
But, back to my doctor's visit on Tuesday. I went in expecting the usual - confirm that I'm pregnant, give me a tentative due date, and set up my next appointments. But, that was not the case. You see, when Riley was born, I experienced a cervical tear during delivery. While my recovery was slightly longer than average, I was back to myself fairly quickly. And, since her birth, I really haven't thought twice about any possible side effects. But, now that Baby #2 is on the way, there are some concerns about how my cervix has healed. If it hasn't healed properly or if it is weak at the sight of the tear, there is some risk that it will become incompetent during my 2nd trimester or early part of my 3rd trimester, causing me to deliver prematurely.
So, instead of waiting until 18 weeks for an ultrasound, I will be having them fairly regularly to monitor my cervix. The first of these ultrasounds was on Tuesday and let me tell you it was nothing short of a miracle. Riley and I were able to see this new life, little heartbeat and all, as clear as day on the monitor. And, at this point my cervix is looking great (if that is possible)!!
So, as our new little miracle continues to grow, I covet your prayers over this pregnancy. Specifically, that my cervix would be completely healed and strong enough to endure a full-term pregnancy and that there would be no complications with delivery. I will keep you updated as we progress...
I went to the doctor on Tuesday, and it was confirmed. Our next little miracle is due on July 4th - an Independence Day baby!! And, to make this even better, Corey's brother, Clay and his wife Kellie found out they are also pregnant and are due on July 2nd!! I don't think we could have timed this any better if we tried! So, the Brown family will be expanding once more.
But, back to my doctor's visit on Tuesday. I went in expecting the usual - confirm that I'm pregnant, give me a tentative due date, and set up my next appointments. But, that was not the case. You see, when Riley was born, I experienced a cervical tear during delivery. While my recovery was slightly longer than average, I was back to myself fairly quickly. And, since her birth, I really haven't thought twice about any possible side effects. But, now that Baby #2 is on the way, there are some concerns about how my cervix has healed. If it hasn't healed properly or if it is weak at the sight of the tear, there is some risk that it will become incompetent during my 2nd trimester or early part of my 3rd trimester, causing me to deliver prematurely.
So, instead of waiting until 18 weeks for an ultrasound, I will be having them fairly regularly to monitor my cervix. The first of these ultrasounds was on Tuesday and let me tell you it was nothing short of a miracle. Riley and I were able to see this new life, little heartbeat and all, as clear as day on the monitor. And, at this point my cervix is looking great (if that is possible)!!
So, as our new little miracle continues to grow, I covet your prayers over this pregnancy. Specifically, that my cervix would be completely healed and strong enough to endure a full-term pregnancy and that there would be no complications with delivery. I will keep you updated as we progress...
Friday, October 23, 2009
Questioning God's Plan
To say this week has been a challenge, would be an understatement. Last weekend, Corey, Riley and I took off to Manteo to spend a quiet weekend fishing with my Mom and stepdad, Dennis. But, on Saturday evening, our weekend took a turn for the worst. We received a phone call to notify us that my 17-year old cousin, Ryan, had been killed while riding his 4-wheeler. Just like that - he was gone.
I was fortunate to have gotten to know Ryan better than most. For a year and a half after graduating from college, I babysat Ryan and his younger brother, Russell, while I worked on my Master's at ECU. At the time, Ryan was 11 and Russell, 6 - and let me tell you they were a handful. But, I am now especially thankful for that time. So, as you can imagine, when I got the news Saturday night, my heart just broke. But, more than my own feelings, my mind immediately went to his mother, my aunt Deb. Now that I have a child of my own, it is unimaginable what she must be experiencing - I mean how do you even wrap your head around something like this. And, how do you explain why God would take someone so young, with so much life ahead of him, from this world?
As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have come to see time and time again how perfect the Lord's will is, but at times like this it is a challenge not to question him. On Wednesday this week, I attended Ryan's funeral service. While difficult, it was filled with stories of Ryan's sweet spirit, his lovable nature, his commitment to Christ, and his love for all things outdoors.
It was at his funeral that I also heard a great analogy for questioning God's plan. For a minute, imagine that you live in a 3rd world country. You have never been exposed to modern medicine and you walk into an operating room to see a patient having a heart transplant. From your perspective, it seems as if the doctors are harming the patient - cutting him open, prodding internally, removing his heart. However, what you don't realize (because of your limited knowledge) is that they are actually saving his life and doing what is best for the patient.
In this same way, our limited knowlege, causes us to question God without realizing that he is doing what is best. My flesh tells me that Ryan should remain here with us, but my heart knows that God sees all things, he is our Alpha and our Omega, and he knows that Saturday evening at 6:45 was Ryan's time to go. Ryan was able to leave this world with no regrets, and had the advantage of never really having to experience all of the pain and suffering of this world. He can now dance with Jesus for all eternity and we have the promise of knowing that we will meet again someday!
Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, specifically my Aunt Deb, Uncle Jesse and cousin Russell. They no doubt have some challenging days, weeks and months ahead!
I was fortunate to have gotten to know Ryan better than most. For a year and a half after graduating from college, I babysat Ryan and his younger brother, Russell, while I worked on my Master's at ECU. At the time, Ryan was 11 and Russell, 6 - and let me tell you they were a handful. But, I am now especially thankful for that time. So, as you can imagine, when I got the news Saturday night, my heart just broke. But, more than my own feelings, my mind immediately went to his mother, my aunt Deb. Now that I have a child of my own, it is unimaginable what she must be experiencing - I mean how do you even wrap your head around something like this. And, how do you explain why God would take someone so young, with so much life ahead of him, from this world?
As my relationship with Christ has grown, I have come to see time and time again how perfect the Lord's will is, but at times like this it is a challenge not to question him. On Wednesday this week, I attended Ryan's funeral service. While difficult, it was filled with stories of Ryan's sweet spirit, his lovable nature, his commitment to Christ, and his love for all things outdoors.
It was at his funeral that I also heard a great analogy for questioning God's plan. For a minute, imagine that you live in a 3rd world country. You have never been exposed to modern medicine and you walk into an operating room to see a patient having a heart transplant. From your perspective, it seems as if the doctors are harming the patient - cutting him open, prodding internally, removing his heart. However, what you don't realize (because of your limited knowledge) is that they are actually saving his life and doing what is best for the patient.
In this same way, our limited knowlege, causes us to question God without realizing that he is doing what is best. My flesh tells me that Ryan should remain here with us, but my heart knows that God sees all things, he is our Alpha and our Omega, and he knows that Saturday evening at 6:45 was Ryan's time to go. Ryan was able to leave this world with no regrets, and had the advantage of never really having to experience all of the pain and suffering of this world. He can now dance with Jesus for all eternity and we have the promise of knowing that we will meet again someday!
Please continue to keep our family in your prayers, specifically my Aunt Deb, Uncle Jesse and cousin Russell. They no doubt have some challenging days, weeks and months ahead!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Following the Crowd
I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, if I ever told my mom I wanted to do something because everyone else was doing it, I always got the same response - "If your friend jumped off of a cliff, would you jump too?" My answer was typically "well it depends." But, she had made her point - it isn't always a good idea to follow the crowd. And, this principle isn't just applicable as a teenager, it seems to matter even more as an adult.
With all the hysteria about the swine flu, or H1N1, whichever you prefer, it really got me thinking about this principle. I find it interesting that the mainstream media isn't even willing to discuss alternatives to the vaccine. They sort of gloss over any possible side effects, even though this vaccine was rushed to market in a few months and has no longitudinal studies to support its safety. Not only that, but they have no studies to show that this vaccine will actually keep you from getting the swine flu. So, they just want me to blindly trust them to vaccinate my 15 month old child and just hope nothing happens? Sorry, but I am not willing to jump off this cliff!
So, as an alternative, Corey and I have chosen to protect her in a more natural way - by doubling her multi-vitamin intake, giving her probiotics daily, making sure she gets plenty of fluids, and maintains a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables. This is what we feel comfortable with for our family, but it may not work for everyone.
This is a decision that each family must make, so I would just encourage you to ask questions, do your own research, look at possible alternatives and then decide for yourself if the seasonal flu vaccine or swine flu vaccine are best for your family. It is our responsibility as parents to protect our children and take whatever steps are necessary to do so, even if it means not following the crowd!
With all the hysteria about the swine flu, or H1N1, whichever you prefer, it really got me thinking about this principle. I find it interesting that the mainstream media isn't even willing to discuss alternatives to the vaccine. They sort of gloss over any possible side effects, even though this vaccine was rushed to market in a few months and has no longitudinal studies to support its safety. Not only that, but they have no studies to show that this vaccine will actually keep you from getting the swine flu. So, they just want me to blindly trust them to vaccinate my 15 month old child and just hope nothing happens? Sorry, but I am not willing to jump off this cliff!
So, as an alternative, Corey and I have chosen to protect her in a more natural way - by doubling her multi-vitamin intake, giving her probiotics daily, making sure she gets plenty of fluids, and maintains a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables. This is what we feel comfortable with for our family, but it may not work for everyone.
This is a decision that each family must make, so I would just encourage you to ask questions, do your own research, look at possible alternatives and then decide for yourself if the seasonal flu vaccine or swine flu vaccine are best for your family. It is our responsibility as parents to protect our children and take whatever steps are necessary to do so, even if it means not following the crowd!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Does Life Ever Slow Down?
Slow weekends don't come around very often in the Brown household, and this weekend proved to be no different. We didn't really have much planned, but it is amazing how quickly two days can fill up.
I don't believe a Saturday could have started any better than yesterday. Corey, Riley and I, along with our friend, Ginny, had breakfast at Yoder's Dutch Pantry. Yoder's is a small Mennonite restaurant/store in between Grifton and Vanceboro that my mom and I discovered a few years back. From Winterville it takes about 30 minutes, but it is well worth the drive. They make the most amazing french toast and cinnamon rolls you have ever tasted! I was so excited that Ginny decided to join us. You see, Ginny and her husband Shane have been in Life Group with Corey and I for the last 3 1/2 years. They have become dear friends of ours. Unfortunately, they are no longer able to attend our Life Group (sniff, sniff) because of other obligations. So, it was a great opportunity to play catch up.
After breakfast, Corey had some daddy/daughter time so that I could go shopping!! So, I headed to the mall and got some great deals for both Riley and myself. Having a little girl is so dangerous - financially I mean. There are just so many adorable outfits, and never enough money to buy them all. Fortunately, I had some Gymbucks from Gymboree, which definitely helped the cause.
Once I returned from my shopping trip, it was time to get ready for the Family Fun Festival for our church. It was at the Boys and Girls Club this year and we had a blast. They had lots of fun activities including a dunking booth, a clown making balloon animals and a huge inflatable slide! Riley loves slides, and this one was right up her alley. We started her off going down with Corey and I, but our little girl proved to be quite the daredevil, eventually going down all by herself!
Needless to say, by the time we returned home, we were all pretty worn out! And, we needed to rest up for a busy Sunday!
Today, we had the Barham family reunion in Raleigh - my dad's mother was a Barham. It began at lunchtime, which didn't allow us time to go to our church and still make it in time, so we headed to Goldsboro and went to church with my Dad. Then we all headed off to Rolesville for great food and fellowship!! As a kid, I used to loathe family reunions - just seemed like an excuse for a lot of people who really didn't know each other to get together and eat. But, now as I have a family of my own, I am really learning to appreciate them. So we spent a few hours playing catch up with everyone and then on the way out of town, we took the opportunity to visit the gravesite of my Granny and Poppee and also the family farm that my Dad and Aunt Julie still own. We made it back to Greenville by 5:00, leaving me enough time to get my fall decor out and relax a little with Riley before her bedtime.
And now, as I wrap this up, it's time to prepare for another busy week. And, it leaves me wondering if life ever slows down.
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